Reflections on my first Week Off from Teaching yoga

As some of you may know, I have decided to take 8 weeks off from teaching my regularly scheduled classes. The arrival of this decision was surprising, even to me. I am not injured or over tired or in any way feeling burnt out. As a matter of fact, I love teaching yoga. Lately, I am particularly passionate about my teaching as I incorporate the advanced pranayama and breath retention techniques that I learned from Yoganand at Kripalu this summer. Teaching yoga is my passion and affords me so many opportunities to connect with others, to make a difference, to be creative and to be alive. I like to believe that my best qualities come out when I am teaching.

Even with all of these wonderful reasons, a small but important voice inside of me has been speaking up a lot lately about slowing down, about taking time for change and growth and transformation. As usual, this wise internal voice rears her head during my own yoga practice. As usual, this voice is suggesting that I do something that is out of character for me and uncomfortable. Take time off from my responsibilities, from the way I define myself, from something that I am comfortable with? At first, taking time off from teaching my 10 classes per week seems ridiculous, self absorbed, irresponsible, and financially not appropriate. But, with most things that are right for me, my initial response is the fear response. Thank God, through yoga, I now realize that where there is fear, there is a path to be followed.

This is my first week of my 8week sabbatical. As a matter of fact, as I write this, it is just my second day. Already, I have taken 3 amazing yoga classes from 3 very different and talented teachers all in my own studio space. This is unheard of for me. I have had stimulating conversations with fellow students and teachers. (Also difficult to do when you are teaching all the time.) I have opened and filed my mail 2 weeks worth of mail and returned phone calls and emails and have begun the fall schedule and designed 2 newspaper ads. Wow!

In addition to all of the yoga and completion of tasks, I have had the space to think. Space that is usually filled with planning my next class or the babysitting arrangements so I can teach has been opened up. Without intending to, my thoughts keep gravitating to Samadhi Yoga Studio and where it’s been and where it’s going. What is its mission? What’s its purpose?

As I look around at the faces in the studio these days, I only see a handful of students that have been here since the beginning (I love each and every one.) Among these strangers and newer acquaintances, it occurs to me that these people don’t know why the studio was developed or its history or even what it was like to maybe not have had a studio space to go to that is open 7 days per week and filled with competent educated teachers eager to bring to their community what they are passionate about. Whether it is yoga, dancekinetics, drumming, chanting, singing bowls, meditation, etc- These teachers are passionate and share what they love for no guarantees on enrollment and in the big picture of things, not a lot of money.

On September 12, it will be the 4 year birthday of Samadhi Yoga Studio and I find myself reminiscing about when the seeds of growing a yoga studio began for me. I had just started teaching and was really digging yoga. I was observing how exciting and life changing yoga was. Not just for me but also for the people I was teaching to as well. We would gather after class and comment to each other about what great stuff this yoga was. A typical comment would be, “Too bad the rest of the world doesn’t realize how great this yoga is.”

I wanted to share the yoga with everyone. I had been to New York and L.A. and witnessed how readily available and ever present yoga was in these places. I thought to myself, “Why couldn’t we have something like that in this area? Why couldn’t we have a grass roots yoga community that was affordable, where good yoga was offered every day? Couldn’t my community have and deserve readily available yoga every day? Yoga where you could get sweaty (my personal favorite) and yoga where a beginner would feel comfortable as well.

It was personally important to me that the yoga studio be located in Manchester even though I was teaching in Glastonbury and realized that because of higher income levels, Glastonbury might be the wiser choice for beginning a yoga studio.

But I am a Manchester girl since kindergarten and felt how desperately we needed alternative and healthy places in our town. It was important to me that the yoga studio not be near the mall. With a few nice mom and pop shops such as Harvest and Café on Main and Natural Rythyms- Downtown Manchester seemed like a good idea.

5 years later, I look back at some of the hardships- I opened with a business partner and that didn’t work out. I opened 5 days after September 11th. Family members that didn’t and still don’t understand why I, as a mother, would open a studio.
I think of the financial hardships, the many times when I don’t take a pay check. Slow times. Yoga classes where nobody shows up. I think of the teachers who moved on to bigger studios. I think of the teachers who left feeling angry or dissatisfied.

The most recent hardship-the violence on Main Street so close to our studio.

I also think about the victories. Over 30 of our students have gone on to become yoga teachers. Not only attending our own teacher training, but teacher trainings all over the world. 5 of my students have even opened their own yoga studios and become my direct competitors.

I think about the students that have met in our yoga classes and gotten married. I think of the students who have formed lasting friendships. I recall the students who have transformed their bodies and leave the classes beautiful and glowing. I think of the student who told me that yoga made her get out of an abusive marriage. I think of the student who told us that yoga was keeping her from getting high. I think of the student who was able to give up Prozac and another student who was able to get off their high blood pressure medicine. I think of all the students who have had success quitting smoking or living healthier. These are real stories and the stories of a community that is thriving and growing.


Recently someone asked us not to do announcements during their yoga time. They had placed this seemingly simple request in our suggestion box located in the hallway when you first enter. Upon reading this particular entry, I have to admit that it made me instantly furious and unappreciated. I was thinking, “Well how else do we let you know about Jaime’s drumming and Natalie’s Dancekinetics and Matthew and Kirstii’s chanting?” How else do we get these things that out there?” Not everyone has email, not everyone reads bulletin boards. We are not a big retail business chain able to afford big marketing campaigns. We are a dedicated group of teachers trying to spread what we love. We are hoping some of our students will show up. We are trying to stay in business.

Once I let my anger run its course and I want to add that it was very short lived, I had a deeper understanding of my responsibility. I was asking for feedback after all. I realized that this person just didn’t understand that we are more than a place that you come to take a yoga class. We are trying to grow and reach out and bring this life transforming vehicle of yoga to as many people in this area as we can.

I am very proud of our small and growing yoga community. I look around and I see more new faces and less familiar ones. This is a sign of change. One that I am learning to accept and even embrace. When things bother me, I realize it is my job to educate and show what community is all about.

I feel very fortunate as I write this. As I move into my 8 week hiatus, I realize that not only am I the creator of my yoga community and my dreams but I am part of something that is bigger than myself. I look forward to all the yoga I will be taking in my own yoga space over the next two months. I am learning that it is ok and even right to enjoy your own dreams when they are coming true.


Namaste,


Anne
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