I am not inadequate in any way- Day 3

Today’s practice began at 5am. I could not sleep because I was concerned that I would over sleep. My mind was also reviewing the full day ahead which included a ribbon cutting ceremony, teaching two yoga classes, banking, grocery shopping, and 3 hours of yoga teacher training. In addition to this, my babysitting was not lined up for the weekend. This is a very big deal for me and creates a tremendous amount of anxiety. On yoga teacher training weekends, Matthew and I work 21 hours in addition to the 5 hours I am all ready scheduled to teach .

I started my morning tripping through a dark house at 5 am, praying that I would not wake Sadie, who was sleeping in our living room until she learns how to sleep through the night. I got to the yoga room without waking Sadie, without falling over random objects such as books and shoes, left out of place in the dark. I flipped on too bright lights because the candles were not where they were supposed to be. I propped myself down on the yoga mat and like my fat white cat (whom I adore), I sprawled myself on my back.

I felt stiff. I felt shackled to tiredness. I did a totally organic practice with a minimal of holding and movement. I was a puddle on the floor. As I observed my body, it felt like someone elses. No that was not true, it felt like mine. Tired and resistant. This morning, I wanted my body to be somebody else’s body.

An hour passed. In all of the forward folds, I went in and out of consciousness and eventually ended the practice with my face planted down on my mat. The portable heat was cranking and the warmth was undeniably seductive. My eyelids were weighted and I think I may have drooled on the yoga mat more than once. So.... I called this morning’s practice a "yin" practice and I am deeming it “enough.”

I am not inadequate in any way because I practiced gently this morning. I am not inadequate in any way because I practiced gently this morning. Now, I only have to believe this.

Good Morning.