When it comes to my professional life, I am in the habit of taking on too much. I love to take on new projects, new workshops, and new yoga classes. Taking on new things is exciting to me. In a work environment I love challenge and change. This would be fine if I didn't have a life outside of my professional one but I do. I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter, auntie, friend, artist, writer, knitter, reader, cook, runner, and many other things. Sometimes I take things on at work without even consulting my partner or my calendar. This can be like playing with fire. I would like to say that I thrive on the chaos and to a certain point I do, but taking on every challenge can also deplete me. In the end, taking on too much is a form of self sabotage. You watch a few bridges go up in flames all because you overbooked yourself and can't be and do everything you promised. As I realize I take on too much and will ultimately disappoint someone, feelings of dread and guilt will set in and plant itself deep within my center.
So this week when I made the decision (once again) to slow myself down and not to commit to everything (for a while) and to be home with my family more- I got sick. One of those nasty tummy bugs coupled with some upper respiratory difficulty. This does not surprise me. Although I had made the decision to slow down, I wasn't intending on starting immediately. I saw it as a slow process. A process that I would enter into gradually. Gradual never happened. Becoming pale as white linen, incredibly tired and observing my insides emptying out over and over again happened instead. I believe my "bug" was my body's way of slowing me down and agreeing with the decision I made. Being sick this weekend kept me from attending a workshop at my studio, cleaning out my garage, running 6 miles and trying to act like superwoman as I hosted our guest teacher. Being sick gave me more time with my children as I couldn't do much more than loaf around in my pajamas. My children were also not feeling well so we hung out together under our comforters and drank gallons of ginger ale, sucked on Popsicles and watched movies too silly to name here.
This is what I took from being sick for the past 5 days:
Taking care of ourselves is absolutely essential and sacred. In order to take care of ourselves completely, it is important to clear out of our lives the things that are standing in our way of self care. For example, if you are always taking care of others first before you take care of yourself, then you will lose touch with what you need. This was the case with me. As I added workshop after workshop in a desire to take care of my studio and serve my students. (and also to enable me to grow as a yoga teacher), I lost touch with the fact that I also needed down time, not only with myself but with my husband and kids as well. Before I know it, my 11 year old daughter will no longer want to cuddle with me under a blanket watching "chick flicks." If I am lucky, I can get a few more years in of couch cuddling. If I am lucky.....
Everybody has needs. We have needs for alone time, expression, creativity, to be loved and to love back. These are just a few. A wise yogi understands that he or she has needs that vary and change.
In any crisis situation in our life (for example-an illness, death, job loss, financial setback, divorce, life change, depression, etc.) that has us experience fear, panic, numbness, or pain, it becomes increasingly clear that we need to reframe our relationship with ourselves.
Reframing our relationship with ourselves will set us on the healing path. When we our in a crisis situation, it would be wise to ask, "How can I use this time in my life to enrich my life, to connect me with what is really important to myself?" In other words, "What do I need to get rid of in my life? " What a rich question. "What memory programming do I need to let go of?" For me- the tape in my head that tells me I am not good enough would be a place to start. Let that message burn itself up. Ask yourself , "Who and what do I need to clear out of my life?"
In a crisis situation, consider how differently you would move through it if you ate healthy foods, drank more water, did lots of yoga, stayed grounded emotionally, took deep breaths, and spoke your truth from your heart.
How different would your decision making process be?
Here are four ways to practice yoga that will guide you to feel the sacredness within yourself:
1. Slow down and scan your body. The body doesn't lie. If you listen to it, it will tell you if it is hungry, scared, overwhelmed, hurting, happy, tired, etc. If you don't listen to it, it will eventually scream back at you.
2. Breathe. Use the breath to slow you down, overcome panic, soothe and restore.
3. Practice your yoga. Activity in the body creates energy which in turn creates more energy. This helps us to realign, open up and balance our entire structure. Our emotional backlog is gently released through the motion of yoga.
4. Meditate. Even if it is only in small doses. A regular meditation practice hones our quality of attention, silence, looking and feeling within. Meditation helps us to wake up and follow the direction of our own unique spirit.
Sincerely,
Anne Falkowski
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